So here I am 60 and still with the same name I was born and baptized with. Being “independent” or being “my own person” has been difficult and has had its costs.
I always tell folks this: there is always a price and a payoff.
And I do not mean financial (although $$ can be part of it)
the thing is the payoff has to be more than the price.
Now whether this is in a relationship with another person or with the Universe at large I firmly believe this.
I came into recovery in December 1988 and the costs of my addictions where large. 20 years of trying to “heal” trying “to get better” working at things like “surrender” when control was the only thing I ever thought I had that kept me safe. If we (as addicts or survivors or alcholics) really knew what affect our behavior has on the shaping of our childrens lives could it have been any different? Addiction take us away from any values we may have had or any one we valued. Addiction is all consuming, eats us up and spits us out. Damaged. And filled with guilt and remorse. We can however recover………….through the help of God and the priviledge of working with other folks with the same problems. Telling them about the solution and the program of action that we found in the 12 step programs.
I am blessed today to have my family in my life and I have a few regrets that I live with however I know I am grateful and I know I am loved.
I am so grateful for friends…………….like Lesley Snider who did this picture on a birthday card for me!!!!!!!!! How great is that!!
I am Emerald Chamberlain and I am here, now, and for that I say thanks to all who make my life a wonder-filled place to be. I celebrate my life!!