I thought at the outset of this I would be writing about my art and my recovery. My recovery is ongoing and so I need to keep writing about all of it. Perhaps recovery is just another word for life and the growth we experience.
This month I have realized many things about my relationship with food. It never ceases to amaze me how things can be just below consciousness. On some level I have known that food had become a bit of a problem, the denial in that is; it had become a huge problem.
I stopped smoking 5 1/2 years ago and I see now that I switched addictions. So in fact became a food addict. My whole life was revolving around food, just like it had around cigarettes, just like it had around drugs and alcohol. Finally about 6weeks ago I bottomed out with sugar. I know what happens to my body when I consume things like ice cream. I bloat and all the horrible part is the sugar goes right through my system like somebody is shaking a can of pop.
And yet I would go “unconscious” and be gone to the store and be ingesting the stuff. And then once again go through the experience of it all.
Today is day 23 of no sugar !!! AND no junk food (chips etc.) No french fries, no drive thru, no white bread, no potatoes, no white pasta.
And so it is. My head is clearer. I feel more awake and more alive.